Comedian and TV personality Missy Hughes has written a book, I Love You, You’re Mine: My Secret Life, that’s filled with personal anecdotes and personal confessions.
In the book, she’s been very open about her struggle with depression and bipolar disorder, and how her illness helped shape her work as a comic.
Hughes has written the book with her friend and former partner of a year, Jessica Erika Hildreth, and the two recently launched a podcast called The Real Missy, where they talk about their relationship and what it was like to work together on The Real Housewives of Orange County.
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Hughes shared how her struggle to deal with her bipolar disorder has led to a lot of self-discovery.
“When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I just couldn’t deal with the truth about myself,” Hughes said.
“I didn’t know how to tell myself, ‘I’m bipolar.
I’m not bipolar.
It’s just that I’m an asshole, and I’m always angry and always hurtful and always selfish.
I just don’t know what to do.'”
Hughes says her bipolar diagnosis made her an easier target for the internet.
“The internet is a great place to be a bully because there’s no way to control who you’re going to talk to or what you’re gonna say,” Hughes told EW.
“People who don’t have bipolar can have this same thing, and they can be so toxic.”
Hughes was diagnosed when she was 23, and it wasn’t until her 50s that she realized her bipolar condition had become so debilitating.
She says her relationship with her former husband of six years was strained after the break-up.
“We broke up a couple of times and she was living in a mental hospital for five months, because she had a bipolar disorder,” Hughes recalled.
“Then she died of a heart attack and she never really recovered.
And the next year she had another heart attack, and she died, too.
I think it’s a really difficult diagnosis. “
There’s nothing I would change for the world.
I think it’s a really difficult diagnosis.
I do have some hope.
I know that I am not the only one who feels that way.”
Huges also revealed that she’s struggled with depression for years, which she attributes to her upbringing.
“Growing up in South Central LA, I’ve had bipolar disorder and anxiety and anxiety disorder, anxiety and depression, and that’s where I’ve struggled with it the most,” she said.
“I feel like I was born with this.
I don’t really understand why.
I mean, I had bipolar because I was a kid.
I was the youngest kid in the class, and my parents had bipolar, too, and then I had my parents’ bipolar, and in my twenties I had an episode of my parents having bipolar and I had to go into a psych hospital for two years.
It just really threw me.
I have bipolar disorder but I also have anxiety and panic attacks and panic.”
Hugles says she felt that her bipolar symptoms were “just part of my childhood.”
“I had a lot to deal of with as a child, and to have this disorder was so much more severe and it just didn’t get a lot better,” Hughes continued.
“So that’s why I’m so glad that I had a relationship with someone who understands that.”
The Real Missz.
Hughes was diagnosed in 2007 with bipolar and is currently receiving medication, which has helped her through her depression.
Hughes said that when she became aware of her bipolar, it took her a long time to accept it, but now that she has bipolar disorder under control, she feels more comfortable in her own skin.
“There are a lot more people out there who are on antidepressants than people know,” Hughes shared.
“It’s like, ‘Oh, well, she has this, she doesn’t have that.
She doesn’t get to choose who she is and how she is in her life.
She’s not a child.
She can’t choose who her friends are, she can’t decide who her boyfriends are.
It seems like it’s just a little bit more difficult to be vulnerable about it.”
Hugess has been married to Erika for nine years and they have two children.
She also shares that her parents didn’t teach her how to be open about what her mental illness was, instead she’s spent most of her life being “in denial.”
Hugges also told EW that she was not afraid to speak her mind.
“My parents taught me to never talk about myself on the show.
They said if you’re ever going to be on TV, you have to be yourself.
You have to tell the truth, and you have no choice but to be truthful,”